Brayden says:

Dad’s current occupation:  “Being in the Air Force”

His dream job would be:  “Flying a plane or baseball player”

What expression does he use — way too often?  “Well, he sleeps too much, for one.”

What’s the last thing you two did together?  “Heart to heart conversation”

What piece of clothing should he give away to Goodwill?  “Ties.  He has a lot.”

What’s the craziest thing you know that he’s ever done?  “I’m not sure”

How does he make you laugh?  “When we act silly.”

What is something he struggles with?  “Not being able to do all the things he wants to do.”

What is his greatest talent? “Singing, and being my best friend.”

If someone was meeting him at the airport, how would you describe him?  “Silent, and nice.”

How does he let you know that he cares about you?  “He tells me every day and he asks me questions about my day.”

Kellen says:

Dad’s current occupation is:  “A worker at Tinker AFB”

His dream job would be:  “A pilot”

What expression does he use — way too often?  “Hey, that’s cool, man.”

What’s the last thing you two did together?  “Weed eated.”

What piece of clothing should he give away to Goodwill?  “Shirt”

What’s the craziest thing you know that he’s ever done?  “He tried to have a snowball fight with me and Kendrie!”

How does he make you laugh?  “By humiliating himself”

What is something he struggles with?  “Swimming, going underwater.”

What is his greatest talent?  “Kindness and compassion”

If someone was meeting him at the airport, how would you describe him?  “Nice, short, good-hearted, glasses, white socks!”

How does he let you know that he cares about you?  “He takes me to get icees even when he doesn’t feel good.”

Kendrie says:

Dad’s current occupation is:  “Tinker AFB”

His dream job would be:  “A star man for space”

What expression does he use — way too often?  “DOGS!!!!”

What’s the last thing you two did together?  “Looked at the stars together.”

What piece of clothing should he give away to Goodwill?  “Some nice shirts”

What’s the craziest thing you know that he’s ever done?  “   ……”

How does he make you laugh?  “When he hiccups”

What is something he struggles with?  “Hearing — health wise.”

What is his greatest talent?  “His brains, he can find anything”

If someone was meeting him at an airport, how would you describe him?  “A little worried, but confident, also in a a rush.”

How does he let you know he cares about you?  “When I am scared, he is always there to calm me down, like by cuddling, talking, and more.”

Kristie says:

For the most part, I’d have to say the kids were right on the money, but there are a few answers that both confuse and amuse me. 

Brayden says his greatest talent is singing?  Really?  I’ve been married to the guy for 24 years and I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sing.  Not once.

Although I do love that the most recent thing they did together was have a heart to heart conversation.  Brayden is at that age where some days, I think she is the smartest, funniest, most interesting, lovable girl around, and we mesh and get along and we really enjoy our time together.  Other days, I think she is the smartest, funniest, most interesting, lovable girl around, and she clearly thinks I am only here on earth to make her life miserable and she wants nothing to do with me.  So I’m glad to know on *those* days, she knows her Dad still has her back.

Kellen says the expression he uses too often is “Hey, that’s cool, man.”  I have never heard him say that in my life.  What are we, hippies in a 1970′s commune?  And I’m not quite sure how Blaine makes him laugh by humiliating himself … what does that even mean?  But I love that Kellen sees kindness and compassion as talents, and that he appreciates the icees!

I also agree with Kendrie that his greatest talent is that he can find anything.  Many a time I have chalked an item (book, phone, sunglasses, ipod, etc) up as lost, only to have Blaine track it down later …. typically, found someplace inane, like the back pocket of the pants I wore last week that got left in a gym bag in the garage accidentally stowed behind the lawn mower …. that type of thing.  And I think I should clarify, on her behalf, that Blaine’s dream job of “A star man for space” does not mean he wants to be an astronaut, or an astrologist …… but references his latest hobby, astronomy.  I bought him an entry-level telescope for Christmas, that he enjoyed much more than I thought he would.  He started subscribing to a few Astronomy magazines, and has really gotten into it.  For Father’s Day, he upgraded to a pretty serious (for home use, anyway) telescope, and he’s been enjoying it this past week.  I’m glad Kendrie enjoys it with him, because quite frankly, the entire concept of space and stars and planets bores me to tears.

It also made me laugh that not one of the kids understood the question “What piece of clothing should he give away to Goodwill?” ….. in other words, what is the rattiest piece of clothing he owns, that you would like to see him get rid of?  I guess maybe that question is better posed to the spouse …… although since I am also the one who does laundry, I can verify that once his t-shirts get *that* ratty, I just throw them in the trash.  Even Goodwill has standards.

And it also amused me that they also didn’t understand the concept of “if someone was meeting him at the airport, how would you describe him?”   They described his character traits, instead of his physical appearance.  Although Kellen’s answer, “white socks”, I found hysterical, because when I said to him …. “what do you mean, white socks?”  Kellen replied, “Mom, seriously.  NO ONE wears white socks anymore!!”

Happy Fathers Day, honey.  Hope you enjoy these photos and answers, as always, being recorded forever on my latest scrapbook page.  There is no escaping the truth of kids!

2010 – Brayden, age 13 – 8th grade:

The best thing that happened on the first day of school:  “I made a new friend who loves Justin Bieber as much as me.”

What I had for lunch the first day:  “A chicken sandwich”

When I grow up, I would like to live:  “In a nice house.”

When I go to college, I think I will be:  “A good student.”

I think Kellen:  “Is a good Ninja.”

I think Kendrie:  “Is a good sister.”

2010 – Kellen, age 12 – 7th grade:

The best thing that happened on the first day of school:  “We formed the N.A.S.A.; Ninja Assassin Sinister Alliance.”

What I will miss most about summer:  “Swimming.”

What would make this school year perfect:  “Having all my classes with friends.”

When I grow up, I would like to live:  “In Japan.”

After high school, I want to:  “Go to college in Japan on a Ninja scholarship.”*

When I go to college, I think I will be:  “Good at it!”

I love:  “Family, and the weekends!”

2010 – Kendrie, age 10 — 5th grade:

I think my favorite subject this year will be:  “Social Studies”

Because:  “I love Social Studies.”

I am not looking forward to this class or subject:  “None.”

Because:  “I love it all.”

The best thing that happened on the first day of school:  “When Christian flipped a desk over by accident in a game.”

What I will miss most about summer:  “Mom taking me to lunch.”

When I grow up, I would like to:  “Talk to kids with cancer.”

My favorite hobbies:  “Soccer, Karate, be hyper.”

I think Brayden:  “Has Justin Bieber fever.”

I think Kellen:  “Is a great saxophone player.”

If I could skip school for one day, I would:  “Go to Steak N’ Shake, or go to my granddad’s house in Dallas.”**

*Yeah, good luck with that.  Because Ninja scholarships are just falling from the sky for thousands and thousands of students.

**I would just like to point out that her granddad doesn’t LIVE in Dallas.  Perhaps that’s a sign we should visit him more often.

Kellen:  “You don’t take Social Studies in the 6th grade, you take World Cultures.”

Kendrie:  “What is the difference between World Cultures and Social Studies?”

Kellen:  (pause)  (pause again)  “Well, for starters, they’re not even spelled the same!”

Clearly, when you don’t know an answer, the best BLUFF is a good offense.

Immediately I looked into my rear view mirror at the three girls in the back seat and said, “Excuse my french” even though it certainly wasn’t the first time Kendrie had heard it (probably not even the first time that day) and I was pretty sure it wasn’t the first time one of the other little girls had heard it.  But the third girl … well …. her mom is Kendrie’s 4th grade teacher and I’m pretty confident neither she nor her husband talk that way at their house.

When they picked their daughter up later that evening, in the interest of full disclosure, I told my girlfriend, “Look, I had a fender bender with your daughter in the car today.  Nobody was hurt, but I did drop the f-bomb and just wanted you to know, in case she’s scarred for life.”

The mom was a pretty good sport about it and told me she would wait to see what her daughter said, if anything.  Maybe I got lucky and she didn’t even notice ….

A few days later the mom called me, to tell me the following:  “She came to us and said, ‘Hey, mom, you know when we were in the van and Mrs. Escoe hit that other car?  She yelled a really bad word, and then tried to tell us it was French, but I’m pretty sure it was a bad word in English.”

Dang.  Can’t fool these kids these days!

Kendrie bought the book today and on the way home from school was quizzing Kellen and his friend Kollin (why no, we don’t know a Cullen, but wouldn’t it be cool if we did?)with questions from her book.  I found the following conversation particularly enlightening:

Kendrie:  “If you could have any one superpower, what would it be?”

Kellen:  “Superpower?”

Kendrie:  “Yeah, you know, superpower.”

Kristie: “Like the ability to fly, or move things with your mind.”

And because I’m 12 years old at heart, I started thinking about which superpower *I* would want.  There are several that would be so awesome it would be difficult to choose.  The ability to read someone’s mind would be cool, until I secretly discovered they thought my shirt was ugly, or that I had bad breath or something, so maybe that’s not a good superpower to pick.  I would love to be able to time travel at will, or teleport myself, or even just have that ability like Samantha on Bewitched to wiggle my nose and BAM! be dressed.  It would save me half an hour each morning, and really, how great would that be?!?

So I was listening in on the conversation, wondering which awesome superpower Kellen would pick, when he answered, “The ability to grow Wolverine claws!”

Kollin:  “You mean, like that time …”

Kellen:  “Yeah, when we taped popsicle sticks to our fingers and had claws!”

Kollin:  “Dude, that would be so awesome!”

Kellen:  “Yep, that was awesome!”

Kristie:  “Wolverine claws?  Seriously?  That’s your amazing superpower?”

Kellen:  “Mom, do you GET how awesome that would be?  I could win ALL my ninja fights that way!”

Kristie:  “Since when have you ever had a ninja fight?”

Kollin:  “And we could climb up trees and stuff really high and fast.”

Kellen:  “And just slash through our enemies!”

Kristie:  “I still don’t get it.  Claws?  What about the ability to be invisible?  Or travel through time.  Wouldn’t that be better?”

Kellen {exasperated sigh}:  “Mom, if you can hide good enough, then you’re practically invisible.  What’s so superpower about that?”

Kollin:  “I would use my claws to climb up walls!”

Kellen:  “And nobody could get near you in a fight because you could just claw them!”

Kellen and Kollin, simultaneously:  “Dude, AWESOME!!”

And I realized the superpower I should probably be wishing for is a bigger vocabulary for my son.  Or at least one with a few additional synonyms for “awesome”.  And that really, I would miss him if he could fly or teleport himself, so maybe Wolverine claws, that let him be a ninja right here at home, would be just fine after all.

Tonight, we went out to dinner with our family for Brayden’s birthday. (More on the fact my baby turned twelve years old today later …. for now, I’m too busy rafting down the river of denial to talk about it.) Kendrie asked me to take her to the bathroom at the restaurant, and when we got inside and I took a good look at her, I realized she had changed clothes.

One of my pet peeves is my kids changing clothes for no reason. Because Heaven forbid they hang anything back up and wear it again … oh, no. Straight into the dirty laundry it goes. My mantra is: “Do you think I do laundry for the fun of it???” and my kids have had it burned into their little brains at this point in their lives, but still, with no real success.

I noticed Kendrie’s change of clothes, and was about to launch into my lecture for the million and ONE time ……

“Kendrie, why did you change clothes before dinner? What was wrong with the outfit you had on? Do you think I do laundry for the fun of it?”

And she looked at me, like I was clearly clueless (which if I am, it’s only because these kids have sucked every brain cell out of my head) and replied ….

“Mom. The other outfit didn’t match.”

Her new outfit??? A white undershirt, gray and purple t-shirt, and navy blue sweats.

So, yeah. I guess when she puts it *that* way …… clears everything up, doesn’t it?

Anyway! We were talking about birthdays and Kendrie mentioned that in only nine more birthdays it will be time for her to leave the house.

I started teasing her that no, she wasn’t ever going to be allowed to leave.

This is how the conversation went:

Kendrie: “Of course I have to leave, I have to go to college.”

Me: “No, you can live at home while you are in college.”

Kendrie: “Well then I’m going to get married and leave.”

Me: “No, I’ve already decided that you and your husband can live with us. You’re never leaving.”

Kendrie: “My husband isn’t going to want to live with you!”

Me: “Oh yes he will. It’ll be fine.”

Kendrie: “Mom. We are going to have a lot better things to do than sit around with a bunch of old people, feeding you applesauce.”

Did I mention I had just bought her a new pair of shoes? And THAT is the thanks I get???!?!!