But today, I’m talking about my kids.  And how many days INAFREAKINGROW they have been out of school due to the ice/snow storm we got here.  I’m certain you people up north are laughing in our faces at what wimps we are, that everything — schools, universities, businesses, doctors offices, churches – shut down with a simple sheet of ice, covered by a couple inches of snow ………. but we don’t have the road crews or street equipment to deal with it.  There isn’t enough sand or salt in the grocery stores in all the land to clear the streets.  So they cancel school.  And I am forced to spend quality time with my children.  Hours and hours, days and days, of quality time.

Dear Lord, please let them go back to school tomorrow.

I do think I should get some good mom points.  I took them sledding twice, and put a bowl outside to collect enough clean, fresh snow to make ice cream.  Never mind that we forgot the bowl and never actually made the ice cream.  I have washed and dried more scarves, jackets, gloves, socks, and boots than should be allowed by law, and drove my children twenty miles to my sister’s house today so they could play outside in acres and acres of snow.  That’s right, the school board says it’s not safe to go 100 yards to the elementary school, but by golly I risked life and limb to get out of the damn house today and interact with other human beings.

I have watched approximately 7,343,857,477 hours of television.  There is not a single iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, or Suite Life episode that I have not seen.  At least eight times.  We have played computer games, and watched movies.  I even got desperate enough to suggest a rousing game of Yahtzee … thank goodness the kids said no.

I have cooked frozen pizzas, grilled cheese sandwiches, hot pockets, made soup in a crockpot, shrimp fried rice, heated up endless mugs of hot chocolate, and even made (and SHARED, which should be noted) an entire batch of chocolate chip cookie dough.  I’ve never been this Betty Crocker in my entire flipping life, and still the children complain there is nothing good to eat.

If I have to spend one more minute bonding with these children, I’m going to slit my wrists.

So here’s my public notice to the school board administration of our school:  I appreciate your hard work, and respect the decision making process.  I understand the responsibility you feel for the safety of our students and their families.  But if you cancel school again tomorrow, I will be dropping my children off at your personal residences at 8am, and not returning until 3pm. 

Good luck with that.

Kellen and Kendrie, ready to attempt the first slide of the day.

Wow, Kellen got the hang of it quickly!

Or, maybe not.

Kendrie’s loving it ….

…and trots back up the hill for another turn.

I climbed up the hill to get these “about to take off” shots …..

… you’ll notice the rest of the pictures are taken from a “bottom of the hill” perspective.  :)

Kendrie is totally loving this ….

… catches some sweet air ….

… and discovers the true meaning of gravity.

Aaaaahhh, that’s my girl!

This is what happens when three boys try to ride down at the same time.

Trying again, guys?

Yeah, it didn’t really go any better any of the other times they tried, either.

At long last, one of the whole group together.  Except for Kendrie, who couldn’t quite get the hang of “caboose” position.

“Team Val”, kind enough to share sleds with “Team Escoe”, because we were just dorky enough to assume Rubbermaid bin covers would work as well as sleds.  (PS.  They don’t, in case you were wondering.) (PPS.  There are no sleds for sale in any hardware store in the entire metro area.  I know.  I’ve called them all today.)

Really?

But in case they are right, its good to have a jump on things.  So I present our new state song, below:

 
SNOW…….klahoma
Where the cold front’s sweepin’ down the plain
And the piles of sleet, beneath your feet
Follow right behind the freezing rain.
 
SNOW…….klahoma
Ev’ry night my honey lamb and I
Travel home from work and hope some jerk
Doesn’t wreck our car in passing by!
 
We know we belong to the land
But it could use some more salt and more sand
 
That’s why we say…..HEY!
We’re sliding the other way…….YIKES!
 
We’re only sayin’
You’re slick as snot SNOWklahoma
SNOWklahoma, SNOW-K!

More common, and what we experienced this past week, is a sort of icy rain that freezes over when the sun goes down (and causes innocent people to fall down on their patios, I think you know who I mean.) You might get a teeny tiny bit of snow accumulation on top of that at night, and then when the sun comes up the next day it all melts to slush. Then the slush freezes that night when the sun goes down, circle of life, etc.

Since my children lived the past five and a half years of their lives in Georgia, this combo of rain/sleet/ice/snow was good enough for them and they thoroughly enjoyed both of their snow days out of school this week. I reminded them that I didn’t want to hear any complaining when this school year is extended two days past Memorial Day to make it up …..

I apologize to those of you with dial-up (does anyone really still have dial up?) but I have a boatload of photos to share. I’ve had winter scrapbooking embellishments, and no chance to use them, for years. By golly, I was taking some pictures when the opportunity arose.

(Those of you in Colorado or Wyoming or Idaho, please don’t laugh. We take what we can get.)

The three kids, eager to get out the back door the first morning:

Even Barley gets into the action:

And then she promptly runs around the yard with the hat in her mouth while my poor children get pneumonia:

There are lots of things to do after a “snowfall” in Oklahoma —

practice skating:

practice your karate moves:

practice your Hooked on Phonics:

practice your mad wanna-be photography skills:

endure more of your mother’s photography attempts:

utilize your swim toys:

get your sister to push you:

And when you’ve used up all the slush in front of your house, and slid down your neighbor’s driveway until there’s nothing left, what do you do?

Why, go to your cousin’s house, of course! (So what if the school board declares the roads are impassable? I’m telling you, after being house-bound for a day and a half, you’ll CRAWL to your cousin’s house if you need to, you’ll be so desperate for someone to play with)

Because they’ve got way more awesome snow toys than a stupid kickboard:

And a pond that freezes over beautifully …. even if Aunt Kristie does get all freaked out when you test the strength of the ice under your weight:

Anyone who thinks there’s not a perk to having ten acres of trails to explore clearly doesn’t know what they’re missing …

Especially when you hit the parts that have natural hills for sledding:

Do you think Brayden was having a good time?

This is Kendrie with my youngest nephew:

We’re a little worried he won’t ever come out of his shell:

And although we had a wonderful time, and thoroughly enjoyed our two snow days …. MOM was certainly glad to see everyone go back to school the next day. Or at least she **was**, until that damn flyer about Book Character Costume Day came home.

This is the view of our driveway. Considering our neighbor’s tree is lying right across the power lines, I assume it’s a miracle we still have electricity. My sister, needless to say, who lives out in the country, with a big ole propane fireplace, and a back up generator, is hosting an impromptu slumber party tonight with good friends of theirs who are without power, as are a good number of people in the city. My mother is without cable. For me, no cable service would also mean no phone and no computer. Hmmmmm, power — or cable. Tough choice. If I could only have one or the other, which would I choose? Keeping my children warm on the one hand …… not being able to connect with the Internet on the other. I don’t know; that’s a tough one. Can I get back to you on that?

The kids and I got out and took a drive. It might be too slickery to get to school, but by golly, we’ll manage a little sightseeing jaunt and a trip to Sonic, won’t we? (Yes, seriously. I wanted onion rings for lunch. So shoot me.) This was one of the many branches down in our neighborhood.

I don’t know whose tree this is, I just thought it was pretty with the ice on the branches. The heck with auto accidents and power outages and fires and burst water pipes — it’s all about the photo opportunities, baby.

This is the mailbox at our rental property. The rental property that Blaine and I spent Friday morning ripping all the old carpet out of. And if climbing over frozen piles of icy carpet on the back porch to get inside the house, to make sure the kitchen and bathroom sinks are left dripping, to make sure the pipes don’t freeze, isn’t your idea of good-time mountain climbing, then I sure don’t know what is. (Remind me again why we’ve moved back home to Oklahoma?)

And here, a sad little tree in the backyard of our rental house. It wasn’t large and manly to begin with, but it’s even more pathetic now. The two trees in the front are beat all to hell, also. One is a weeping willow, so I’m hopeful it will finish weeping and bounce back up in a few days when the ice melts. The other is going to need some major branch clean up, which clearly violates the “NO Manual Labor” clause of my marriage contract, so I’m not sure how Blaine is going to handle that one.

Until then, school has been cancelled again tomorrow. Which judging by how today went, means I’ll have seventeen more loads of wet laundry to do, constant mopping of hardwood floors because heaven forbid I remember to buy a door mat at Target, a dog who will choose to poop behind the kitchen table rather than go outside on the frozen ice with his dainty little paws, and the very clear realization that whatever romantic notion I might ever have had about homeschooling, about the warm and fuzzy idea of keeping my children with me 24/7, holding them close to my bosoms at all times —- yeah, **THAT** retarded idea will fly right out the window before 9am tomorrow. If I was guessing, that is.

Needless to say, school has been cancelled today.

The kids are thrilled and have been outside since 8am. Using a hammer to chop up the ice to put in cups to pour koolaid over and make thier own slushies.

Me? Not so much.

Because all I see in my future are wet boots and wet gloves and wet hats and wet coats and an extra load of laundry or two and then somebody losing an eye when an icicle falls off the roof.

Because I’m a scrooge like that.