Cell Phone Contract
Since several of you asked, I thought I would post a copy of the cell phone contract we put into effect when Brayden got her first cell phone a few months ago. We decided against putting her on our family plan, although that would have been cheaper, and instead bought her a pay-as-you-go phone. The one thing I don’t like about this phone is that we receive no monthly bill, listing calls and texts made. Brayden understands that I can (and do) check her phone for calls and texts made and received, but there’s really nothing stopping her from deleting things before I see them, and it also uses up her minutes while I’m doing it. Except for that, though, I really think this was the best way for us to go the first time around. The first month she managed her minutes well, the second and third month she had to pay for additional minutes out of her own pocket.
I also think its only fair to mention that half way through the third month she broke rule #16 so flagrantly that the phone was taken away and has been in my desk drawer for the past five weeks. She asks every day when can she have the phone back, and I’ll admit that I had already begun to appreciate the convenience of it. But until she shows greater understanding about what she did wrong, it will stay in a drawer, and I’ll continue to track her down the old fashioned way …. actually getting out of my car and going inside a building to get her.
I do think the contract worked well, though. We took the phone away for a few 24-hour periods due to grades, and she couldn’t complain about it …. it was spelled out plain and clear. She was very respectful of not using the phone at dinner, at church, etc. And by using a pay-as-you-go phone, she didn’t go hog-wild and have it constantly attached to her hand at all times. 600 minutes a month works out to 20 minutes (or 40 texts) a day. Personally, I think that’s plenty for a 12 year old.
I would LOVE to see a copy of any new-driver contracts out there, and if you e-mail it to me, let me know if I have permission to reprint it here. In the meantime, I’m beginning to think we should have written up a Facebook contract …… (sigh) …… PS. Although its very friendly of you, if you are *my* friend on Facebook, please don’t try to friend my daughter. She is under clear instruction that she can only be friends with kids from her school, and close friends of the family. So no offense, but she’ll just ignore you. Or at least she better!
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Cell Phone Contract Between Brayden Escoe and her parents, Blaine and Kristie Escoe
Dated11-05-09 and in effect until such time
as Brayden no longer has the phone in question
This contract is intended to outline the rules and responsibilities of both Brayden Escoe, holder of said cell phone, and Blaine and Kristie Escoe, provider(s) of said cell phone. While firm, the following rules and regulations are also open to negotiation at any time by any party of this contract.
1. Parents agree to provide 600 minutes of cell phone service to the phone on the1st of each month. As per the service provider, two texts equal one minute.
2. If at any time during the month Brayden reaches the 600 minute limit, any additional minutes for that month must be purchased by her. Or, she can wait until the 1st of the next month to use the phone, when her parents will put 600 more minutes on the phone.
3. Because this is a pre-paid phone, service will be discontinued if there are no minutes left. (see Rule 2.) File under: School of Hard Knocks.
4. As per the policy of xxxxxxx Public Schools, this phone is not to be seen or heard during the school day. If the phone is taken from Brayden for misuse at school, and either of her parents have to pick it up from the office, she will lose phone privileges for a period of one (1) week. No exceptions.
5. There are to be no outgoing calls or texts on school nights after 9:30pm.
6. There are to be no outgoing calls or texts on weekend nights after 10:30 pm.
7. The phone will be placed in the kitchen on a charger at night, every night, all night, turned to the OFF position, at 9:30 on school nights and 10:30 on weekend nights, to make sure any incoming calls or texts do not bother the family.
8. If using or checking the phone on any morning causes Brayden to run late for school or any other activities, she will lose phone privileges for 24 hours.
9. If using or checking the phone at any time during the day or evening causes Brayden to run late for any activity or event of any kind, she will lose phone privileges for 24 hours.
10. There will be absolutely no phone usage during meals, at the table, or in restaurants.
11. There will be absolutely no phone usage during church.
12. Parents reserve the right, based on attitude, to revoke cell phone privileges for any 24 hours period. Parents also reserve the right, no questions asked, to request the phone be turned off and put away at any time. Failure to do so will result in privileges being revoked for a 24 hour period.
13. Cell phone privileges will be tied to academic performance. Any missed assignment (as per the parent portal) will result in 24 hours revoked phone privilege. Any daily grade below a 75 will result in 24 hours revoked phone privilege. Any test grade below a 75 will result in a MINIMUM 24 hours revoked phone privilege. It will be the responsibility of the parents to stay current with the grades via parent portal, but cell phone privileges can and will be revoked in a “retro” method if necessary.
14. If after a period of time Brayden has proven responsibility and maturity with these phone privileges, consideration will be given to the possibility of adding her to the family plan with unlimited calling and texting. It is at the discretion of the parents when such change will (might) take place.
15. In addition to at home and at school, Brayden is to use discretion and courtesy regarding cell phone usage. She is to be respectful of other people and put the phone away if asked by an adult in their homes, or if it is bothering others in a public place.
16. Any instance of cell phone “trouble” ie. including but not limited to, instances of cell phone bullying, prank calls, sexting, fake names on text messages, or general disregard for the intention of the phone will result in immediate revocation of cell phone privileges, for such length of time as determined by her parents. Brayden also understands and accepts total responsibility for any usage of her phone by any person she might lend the phone to.
These rules can be updated and/or changed at any time to reflect current need.
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19 Responses to Cell Phone Contract
February 21st, 2010 saat: 11:03 AM
This is really interesting to me, because we’ve been considering a video game contract for Fergus. He has no video system per se yet, but has wanted a Nintendo DS. The trouble is that what games he has played–on our computer or even the hand held cheap weird game that came from a yard sale–have created unhappiness and irritation when he needs to put them away. He has frequently lost computer privileges for a day or more because of attitude around stopping when his time is up. We’ve said NO to a real game system because of how he currently handles the limited stuff he has. Yet I confess that my criteria change at times based on my own quirks. I sometimes think we’d do better to draft a contract–both defining what he needs to do to get a DS (like save for half of it himself) and what will be expected of him once he gets it. I like this contract as a model! Thanks!
February 21st, 2010 saat: 5:43 PM
Thanks for putting this up for us. One thing I will say that we learned when we added texting is that the child can’t control what comes in. For example, she had a limit on the number of texts but when one boy sends 5 messages a day, mulitple days a week with the word “hey” it’s hard to count that against my child. He would fish for someone to chat with at all hours so that’s when we went to unlimited texting.
She still shares a cell with me and isn’t giving us much reason to believe she’s mature enough for one yet. Maybe 9th grade will be better.
Hugs!
February 21st, 2010 saat: 6:31 PM
Great contract Christy. I am going to copy and save it for when our time comes, and also make a copy for my sister. My nephew, Jacob (12yrs.) just had his cell phone taken away. He made the major error of taking it to and using it at school during lunch. Silly boy had a group of kids around him showing them how cool it was and the music it plays. He comes to my house after school, and I felt pretty doggone bad for him when he told me what happened. It’s not often that this little dude shed tears, but I saw a few spill out on this day.
February 21st, 2010 saat: 8:23 PM
I love this. I think it is fantastic and applicable for much older kids as well. I could easily use this on my almost fifteen year old as well!
February 21st, 2010 saat: 9:22 PM
Sounds very reasonable. The funny thing to me is that, despite being 32 years old, an attorney, and a mom to three kids, I still have a pay as you go phone! I buy myself 1000 minutes for the ENTIRE YEAR and in the five years I have had the phone, I have always had AT LEAST 300 minutes left at the end of the year! So, I think 600 minutes per month is more than reasonable.
February 21st, 2010 saat: 9:51 PM
Awesome, Kristie! I hope you don’t mind–I copied it for future use!
February 21st, 2010 saat: 10:51 PM
Too bad more parents don’t make their kids have rules with their phones. I HATE HATE HATE seeing people in restaurants on cell phones. I copied it also to show some much older nephews !!
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 8:25 AM
I think it’s very generous that you let your 12 year old even have a cell phone. We didn’t give my daughter one until she turned 16 and started driving.
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 8:47 AM
Tracy, believe me, I personally thought it was still unnecessary, but at a few months shy of 13, she was definitely in the minority of kids who didn’t have one. Around here sixth grade seems to be common (when kids enter middle school) but I’ve seen plenty of the elementary kids walking around with them, also. Don’t even get me started. Kristie
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 9:44 AM
Wow. I don’t know what to say. This seems waaaaay over the top.You actually have to have contracts with your children and you read their texts???? Couldn’t you just have said, ‘use it sensibly, be nice, be fair and tell me if you get any calls or texts you shouldn’t be getting’ This wisdom from a woman who has chosen not to have children, ha ha.
On the driving thing…in England you can’t start to learn to drive until you are 17 and the insurance for 17 – 25 year olds is *so high* that many youngsters just can’t afford to drive at all.
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 10:04 AM
>>>Couldn’t you just have said, ‘use it sensibly, be nice, be fair and tell me if you get any calls or texts you shouldn’t be getting’ >>>> Yes, just like I say, “be nice to your siblings, don’t fight, and always play nicely together” and it never works there, either. :) Do people HAVE to have contracts with their children for cell phones? Of course not. But for us, it clearly outlines rules, expectations, and responsibilities. Kristie
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 11:08 AM
When I was 15, my parents and I bought a horse together. I’d been a competitive rider for many years and had always wanted my own horse. My parents saw owning a horse as a ridiculous privilege for a child, but they were willing to continue paying for lessons and loan me the initial purchase price if I could convince them I could pay for board and other expenses. We had a written contract that spelled out how much they would pay, when they would and would not help me with expenses, and what the other conditions were for my riding and continuing to own the horse. In particular, the contract spelled out that the horse would be sold when I left for college, with all of the proceeds of the sale re-deposited into my college account.
Now, I would have signed anything to get my own horse, but seeing some of the conditions they set forth in black and white definitely gave me pause. We went ahead, and there were times when we butted heads over what I considered strict rules. I had no wiggle room because of the written contract. But a year and a half later, when I had my driver’s license and my grandparents offered me their old car, I actually REQUESTED a similar contract about use of the car, because having it all spelled out and negotiated in advance did actually help me manage the privilege and responsibility.
I’m in my mid-30s now. I don’t have kids, but I do have a deep appreciation for some of the parenting techniques that I questioned as a teenager. There were things in my parents house that were always free and unconditional — love and support and security. But there were other things that were not entitlements, and they came with clearly defined conditions. The contracts helped me understand those conditions, and also helped me realize that the most important stuff was given to me with absolutely, positively no strings attached, and with all of my parents’ hearts and hopes.
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 1:39 PM
REALLY wish I had done this from the beginning…can I have a do-over? Will DEFINATELY do this with car/driver’s liscene. Please post one if you get a good one.
Thanks for the tips.
Meg
(PS: I read texts from time to time as well…teens are not always very forthcoming and it is a scary place out there. I am there with you..)
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 2:37 PM
I don’t comment often but have to say I personally love the contract. My daughter will be 18 in a few weeks and she didn’t get her first cell phone until she was 16 and driving. I still occassionally look on her phone for any inappropriate texts or calls and will take the phone away if I find something I don’t like. We also have the rule that it’s to be in the kitchen and shut off by 10:00 at night. Although she will soon be 18 she very well gets it’s our house and our rules and she respects that. I’m not a harsh parent by no means but rules are rules and most times she follows them.
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 3:34 PM
Thanks for posting this!
February 22nd, 2010 saat: 5:36 PM
Kristie, great job with the contract. I know what you mean about so many kids having a cell phone. We have the same issue here with our 12 year old. One of the few without a cell phone at his school. None of his brothers got one until high school, and we felt that they were too irresponsible then to own cell phones (and we were right; they abused the privileges and the phones; couldn’t hold onto them)
Do bear in mind as you look at contracts regarding cars that just as the cell phone contract was broken even in the short time your D has had it, and she already has lost the privilege for not following the rules, so it goes with cars. But the ramifications and consequences with cars can be a lot more foreboding and deadly. That’s what scares me about young adults and cars.
February 23rd, 2010 saat: 7:23 PM
I totally agree with the contract. This spells out the rules and avoids future arguments about not “understanding” or “remembering” all of the rules associated with the priviledge of having a cell phone. My oldest and middle child got their phones when they turned 16 (my oldest is now 30 years old), but my youngest got one when she turned 13. My husband and I worked full time, and my middle daughter helped out with getting my youngest to soccer practice and other after-school functions. It was helpful and comforting to be able to connect with my youngest when I needed to, or to hear from her before I met up with her. The problem was…she is/was an extremely social girl and problems came up with cell phone usage after bedtime. We started noticing phone calls/text messages being sent/received after bedtime – sometimes after midnight! We had to be the bad guys and confiscate the phone each night so she could settle down and get some sleep. So I think it is brilliant that you have already set the ground rules – just know that you are probably going to have to keep this up during high school. I was surprised at how many kids were available to make and receive calls that late at night. Good luck with all of this, and all of the fun stuff to come!
February 24th, 2010 saat: 11:19 AM
This is a great idea. I wonder what my son will think of it! Better get him on a good day!
March 2nd, 2010 saat: 7:35 PM
Fantastic! My 14-year old son has had his own pay-as-you-go phone for just over a two years. I got it for him before he went to scout camp for the first time. I wanted to make sure he could get a hold of me anytime he needed to – I like to think that everything will be alright with boy scouts, but you never know. I’m going to copy this contract, with maybe a few modifications, and we’re going to implement it immediately. I think he’s done a good job, mostly, of following the few rules I set for it, but it’s great to see everything spelled out. I think he’ll appreciate knowing exactly what the rules and consequences are. I’ll be on the lookout for a teen driving contract, too.
Thanks again!!
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