No, not quite like that
Every year since Brayden was born, Blaine and I have sent flowers to her birthmother, “M”, on Brayden’sbirthday. I mean really, there is no gift quite appropriate enough to convey the heartfelt message, “Thank you so much, your selflessness helped us become a family and we will never, ever, ever be able to repay you ….” but I figure at least flowers, inadequate as they might be, let M know how much we are thinking of her, and appreciate her. (except this year, it was sort of a close call about whether we would send flowers or not because SERIOUSLY! These pre-teen hormones are a nightmare and when you’ve got a daughter rolling her eyes, and flouncing out of the room, and announcing “that’s why I don’t like you anymore!” do you truly want to send someone a bouquet of thank-you flowers celebrating that?!?)
But I digress …………
Brayden’s birthday is February 13th, and a few times in years past I’ve gone to the flower shop on February 12th to order my flower delivery for M, only to have the sales person laugh in my face because ha-ha! This is Valentines Week, you doofus, do you really think we have time to do a last minute floral delivery for you on top of the fifty hundred dozen red roses we are preparing for sweethearts all over the city??? So now I’m much more careful to give myself a few days’ cushion, which is why yesterday found me in my local flower shop, placing the order for this year.
This is basically how the conversation went:
SalesGirl: “Can I help you?”
Me: “Yes, I’d like to order a floral delivery, please.”
SG: “For Valentines Day?”
Me: “No, just a normal delivery.”
SG: “What’s the occasion?”
This is always a little awkward, because while I have no problem sharing why I am there, on the other hand, sometimes its just easier not to go into detail about how I’m sending flowers to my daughter’s birthmom on the anniversary of her birth as a thank you.
Me: “Um, its an anniversary. Well, a birthday, but not *her* birthday. More like an anniversary-thank-you-kind-of-thing.”
SG: “OK, so any special kind of flowers? Or special arrangement?”
Me: “No, just fresh-cut, I guess. But I want it to be pretty. Its for a girl and I want it to be pretty and nice.”
SG: “So, an anniversary bouquet, for a girl. What would you like the card to say?”
Me: “Oh, I can write the card …. do you have one?”
SG: “Sure …. do you want anniversary? Or just blank? Or ……….. (here she sort of paused, delicately …………) a sweetheart card?”
Me, assuming she had already forgotten it wasn’t for Valentines Day: “A blank card is fine.”
And that’s when it hit me. She totally thought I was sending flowers to my lesbian lover.
So M, when the flowers show up on Friday, know that we love you.
Just not quite like that. :)
11 Responses to No, not quite like that
February 9th, 2010 saat: 11:02 PM
HAHAHA! I remember, years ago, my best friend and I went to Walt Disney World for a week long vacation. Just 2 single ladies, both hetero, going on their first “grown up” trip, sans families. We decided to celebrate our trip by going to Victoria & Albert’s, a VERY fancy restaurant at the Grand Floridian hotel, which is themed to be very romantic. I call to make the reservation and say it’s for a party of 2. The person on the phone said, “Is it a husband and wife?” and I said, “No, we’re 2 ladies.” My next thought was, “Ohmigod, now she’s going to think we’re gay.” I laugh about it now because I’m almost 44 and very much a Fruit Fly but I was 20-something at the time and whether the woman on the phone actually thought that or not, the mere thought of it embarrassed me to no end.
Happy birthday to Brayden as well as to you, Blaine and M.
Back to lurking mode…
February 10th, 2010 saat: 12:49 AM
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. hahahahaha! Oh, how I crack myself up!
February 10th, 2010 saat: 8:12 AM
Oh That is so funny but VERY sweet that you do that every year!
February 10th, 2010 saat: 8:34 AM
hahah! I had a moment like that once in the Victoria’s Secret in the mall near your old house (you know, in majorly conservative WR). I was talking about the matching pink bra & underwear I had just bought to the saleslady ringing me up and mentioned my girl friend would be so excited that I bought matchy-matchy stuff. I MEANT friend of the female-variety not GIRLFRIEND. But I realized how it sounded about a non-second after it left my mouth. Both her husband and mine HOWLED when I told them that story.
February 10th, 2010 saat: 12:23 PM
Thanks for my belly laugh for the day! :)
February 10th, 2010 saat: 4:48 PM
Too funny!! What a nice gesture to send flowers every year. Happy Birthday Brayden!!
February 10th, 2010 saat: 8:21 PM
I so wish I knew where my daughter’s birthmother was so I could do something for her.
Living near San Francisco, I have several faux lesbian stories. People are so PC here, they make assumptions just because two women are out with a baby and one of them (that would be me) just happens to be a fostermother.
February 11th, 2010 saat: 8:18 AM
I so wish I had thought of something like that for our kids birth mom. Both my mother and sister have birthday’s shortly before Valentines and the flower shop is always a real treat. Trying to get flowers for anything but Valentines is difficult.
February 11th, 2010 saat: 12:45 PM
HAppy Birthday Brayden! And that is really sweet that you send M the flowers each year. :) The story still has me laughing however. And remembering a time when out with a friend that we were mistaken for a couple. Of course, being that we were about 21 at the time we totally thought it was hilarious and decided to play it up!
February 12th, 2010 saat: 1:35 PM
LOL! That’s funny – and very sweet of you to send flowers, I’m sure she appreciates it. I was a gestational carrier last year and the babies’ mom (and usually dad too) came to all of the appointments. We assume that at least some people thought she and I were a couple – we used to joke that we were Melissa Etheridge, Julie Cypher and David Crosby.
February 15th, 2010 saat: 8:33 PM
hahaha!!! that is funny! I got the flowers and they are beautiful! and hey….I love you guys too….but not quite like that either!
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