Obsolete
The olden days:
I would hurry, on the last afternoon at school, from class to class to class. When they were all in elementary school together, it was not really that hard to do. I traveled the most when they were in three different hallways, hoofing it from room to room to room, but could still manage. I would typically take cookies to one class, cupcakes to another, and drinks to the third. Or maybe plates and napkins. Or even ice cream sundae ingredients ….. really, whatever the teacher asked me to bring. I would take as many pictures as possible of the kids with their classmates and teachers, for scrapbooking purposes. I would try to help with games, or activities, or set up or clean up. You get 20 or 25 kids, already wound up about it being the last day, and then throw enough sugar at them …… honestly, the teachers could use the help on those days. Typically, last-day-of-school parties lasted about an hour, so I would allocate twenty minutes for each room and just enjoy myself. When school let out for the day, I would help each child carry their brown grocery bag full of papers and graded homework and art projects home, eyeballing the parents who were smarter than me and had the good sense to bring a wagon to the school with them, to help haul the left-over school stuff out to their car. We would arrive home tired, hopped up on sugar, and yet excited at the same time to know SUMMER had officially begun.
Nowadays:
My middle school kids don’t even GO to school the last two days, except long enough to catch a bus to take them on their last-day-of-school field trips. I offered to go as a chaperone, and the principal said while I was certainly welcome, they had plenty of staff and I wasn’t needed. My kids said they didn’t care, but I didn’t want to be one of, if not the ONLY, parent there, so I skipped it. They’re big kids now, they don’t need me to hold their hands and help them on and off the school bus, or to make sure they don’t get left behind in the bathroom. Their lockers were cleaned out last week, they’ve already signed up for next year’s classes, and they don’t need help getting any work or papers or folders home ….. its all already here. Barring anything we might be leaving behind in the lost and found, but dear Lord, who wants to dig through THAT ginormous pile in the commons area???
Kendrie is still in elementary, and I was supposed to take snacks for her class. I figured as long as I was dropping them off, I would stay long enough for a few pictures at the end of the day, then bring her home. Her class is not doing a traditional party …. instead, the entire grade is allowed to bring one electronic game, and one board game, a pillow, a blanket, and slippers, and they are having a day of relaxation and just goofing off. Her teacher called two days ago and said not to even worry about the snack, that she was going to take care of the food and drinks herself. She brought home all her papers and work and folders last Friday. Since my kids walk to and from school, weather permitting, I don’t even really need to go up there today.
I’m feeling a little sad, truthfully. And perhaps, if I’m being honest, a little obsolete.
I mean, I guess on the one hand, that gives me another hour …. a last, final, PRECIOUS hour of peace and quiet before the chaos of summer begins.
So there’s that.
And I also know that after our traditional last-day-of-school dinner at Pops, a local restaurant we go to every year on the last day, I’ll have less than twelve hours before the cacophony of “What are we going to do today?” begins.
And my reign as social chairperson, chauffeur, summer camp coordinator, swim date organizer, snack provider, enforcer of computer and tv time, and holder of towels, purses, and bags will begin.
So it’s not like they don’t need me. It’s not like my status as stay-at-home-mom is in jeopardy. It’s not like there still isn’t plenty to do, both during the school year and during the summer – volunteering, being here when my kids get home from school, being available. If nothing else, the local snow cone stand is too far for them to walk, so they need me to drive them there.
But part of me sure misses the olden days, when I was perhaps needed a wee bit more. Even if only for the parties. And the photos.
14 Responses to Obsolete
May 25th, 2010 saat: 9:26 AM
I think I know what you mean.
This is the first year that I feel a little melancholy about the last day- and summer ahead. It is a very unusual feeling.
May 25th, 2010 saat: 11:22 AM
I know the feeling too, but I thought it was simply because I love elementary school so much! …weird…I know!
May 25th, 2010 saat: 12:19 PM
Wait until Kendrie leaves elementary school… It’s so sad! My youngest graduates high school next week and will be off to college next fall. Soon you’ll be asking yourself the same question as I: Where did the time go? I am fortunate to have cherished the years, but feel like I should ALMOST have another – crazy right? :( Enjoy your summer.
May 25th, 2010 saat: 1:54 PM
We would LOVE to have a parent like you at the school I work at in Berkeley!! I wonder if your baked goods would survive priority mail…
May 25th, 2010 saat: 3:38 PM
Your post brought me to tears. Eyour last day of school dinner — one day soon enough, that tradition will be a memory too! I’m jealous that your kids are out of school already. We still have three more weeks after this one (in Southern California).
Karen B.
May 25th, 2010 saat: 3:52 PM
I’m in the same position. My girls (4th and 9th grade) are not in the needy stage anymore and part of me is sad and part of me rejoices at the freedom I have now – but freedom to do what??? For 15 years I’ve been the stay at home Mom who was at every function, book fair, PTA meeting and any other social event at school – now I’m just the person to call when they need a ride, pay for fees and yearbooks and pack lunches – I’m obsolete too :(
May 25th, 2010 saat: 4:20 PM
This too shall pass and you will someday realize that it is nice that your kids are more independent. I haven’t got out of the volunteering, not that I want to, and my kids will be considered a freshman and a junior on June 9th. My husband and I both volunteer A LOT for the FFA and 4-h groups that the kids are involved in. I was unable to get back to the high school this morning for my daughter’s award ceremony because I was woke up by the neighbor letting me know that my kid’s 1100 pound fair steers were up to his house and they had to be caught before the kids could go to school. So by the time they were caught and the kids finished getting ready and I took them to school, that left me no time to get ready and so back. So when my husband that had just worked all night and was headed to the hay field found that out, he jumped in the shower and hurried to the high school and played Dad for about six of the FFA kids that were getting academic awards this morning.
So don’t mourn the days of total dependence, just look forward to the times when the kids really want and need you to be there for them. I promise you they do appreciate it a little more as they get older. That is when they look around and notice who doesn’t have that support and they are proud that the other kids call you momma or poppa and are glad to have you there for them too!!!
May 25th, 2010 saat: 4:25 PM
But wait…didn’t you have to take someone’s lunch to school today? :)
I am on the other side of the parent-volunteering-spectrum: I am so ENJOYING not having to be at the school for any thing this week. I almost enjoyed myself so much that I forgot to buy teachers’ gifts that have to be sent in tomorrow (last day)!
May 25th, 2010 saat: 4:38 PM
Yep. I only have one, and I’ve tried to savor every minute; but as hard as I’ve tried to stretch it out, it’s finally here. Tomorrow is electronics day, and the next day is a 1/2 day. Nothing needed from me, and it IS strange. My boy actually chose to go to school on Thursday because he loves his teacher and class so much that he wants a few more hours with them. For that, I feel SO blessed…. and I guess I’ll deal with being obsolete as long as my boy is happy. Happy summer, Kristie… hope it’s filled with fun, family, laughter, and love!
May 25th, 2010 saat: 4:46 PM
You still are going to be needed moms’s are always needed forever. Maybe not as the school visit chaperone , but it’s great that you are around so much to know whats going on in their lives and who all their friends are.
May 26th, 2010 saat: 7:12 AM
Sad, isn’t it???? They do NEED you, though, just in a different capacity. And I NEED you!!!
May 26th, 2010 saat: 2:20 PM
“They’re big kids now, they don’t need me to hold their hands and help them on and off the school bus, or to make sure they don’t get left behind in the bathroom.”
I swear, a tear sprang to my eye when I read that and I had this vision of Declan getting off the bus after his first day of kindergarten. Because as much as I wonder how I’ll get it all done–being here,there and everywhere–I think I’ll be sad when they don’t need me anymore. It reminds me to be more present.
May 26th, 2010 saat: 2:40 PM
Sigh. I hear ya.
I fondly recall our oldest son (we’ll call him Thing 1) as a first-grade student seeing me in the hallway as I waited for our youngest son (we’ll call him Thing 2, who was a preschooler at the time) in his speech class. Thing 1 was walking to the lunchroom when he spotted me. He broke away from the orderly line he was walking in, ran toward me yelling, “THAT’S my MOMMY!” and jumped into my arms and wrapped his legs around me. Now in public he pretends he has no parents. Thankfully at home he still likes his back scratched and his earlobes massaged. :-) But yeah, I feel your pain.
June 3rd, 2010 saat: 9:14 PM
My oldest is moving to middle school next year. He’s been in the same elementary school since K. Tomorrow is their 5th grade social/dance and it is field/water day, so tomorrow will be a busy day filled with a lot of emotion as my 11 year old has his first dance. Monday is the 5th grade awards night. AND add to this the fact that my youngest might also be leaving the school, but that’s another story. I guess what I’m saying, is your post made me sad.
Someone recently asked me about starting a blog. They asked what I liked in a blog. YOUR blog is the one I thought of. As I told him, you are funny, write frequently, and your children are just enough ahead of mine that you give me glimpses of my life to come. Sometimes it helps prepare me (the phone contract is filed on my computer!), many time it makes me laugh out loud, but then there is the occasional blog that makes me so anxious/sad. Thanks for sharing all the parts of your life!
Leave a Reply