Send help
My life has fallen to crap. (Before anyone panics, this is written entirely mostly in jest. No one is ill, no one has disappeared, no one has been abducted by aliens. Absolutely NOTHING serious has happened. But other than that, my life has fallen to crap.)
Remember in late October when my camera lens, the good one, that I use for all my sports photography, just quit working and I sent it in for repair? Yeah, I don’t have it back yet. No biggie. I have other lenses.
Then remember about three weeks ago the contractors at our house dinked up our cable line, and everything was out for ten hours, and then finally the phone and television came back on but my computer did not? And after having the cable guy come to my house, and the Tech Dude guy, and then finally taking it to Best Buy, I was told it was a defective processor and my computer would have to be sent away for repair? Yeah, I don’t have it back yet. No biggie. I had a laptop.
Then Friday, I was at the school, where I had been asked to take Santa Photos for a fundraiser. I was looking forward to it. I had extra lenses, extra batteries, extra memory cards. Unfortunately, I did not have an extra camera, which is what I needed when my camera JUST QUIT FUCKING WORKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY JUST QUIT FOR NO REASON I GOT THIS GOD-AWFUL FATAL ERROR MESSAGE AND IT WOULDN’T TAKE ANY MORE PICTURES AND I STILL HAD OVER A HUNDRED KIDS LINED UP OH MY GOD SHOOT ME NOW.
Fortunately, another teacher owns the same camera, and happened to have it there, and lent it to me, so I could at least finish out the day. But now my camera is totally screwed and I have no idea why. This one is sort of a biggie. The warranty is expired, and I have no camera heading into the holiday season.
Then on Saturday, I came home from running errands to a sheepish Kellen. Who had been playing in the “den”, which is where we eat and sleep and play because God Almighty knows that even though they promised the remodel would be done by noon Wednesday ….. then by noon Thursday …. then by noon Friday …… and when they still weren’t done at 4pm on Friday I called and canceled our furniture delivery for Saturday but the workers swore they would be done on Saturday except unfortunately none of them showed up to work that day so of course we’re doing all our living in one room of the house so naturally he was playing there and I can’t really be mad at him except he banged something into the laptop for God’s sake and now THE FUCKING LAPTOP NO LONGER WORKS JUST A CURSOR BLINKING ON A BLACK SCREEN NO MATTER WHAT WE DO SO HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CHECK MY E-MAIL OR UPDATE MY BLOG OR FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE EDIT THE 252 SANTA PHOTOS PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING ME TO DELIVER THIS WEEK ………
(does anyone have a paper bag I can breathe into …. in …. out …. in …. out ….)
Then on Sunday the microwave blew up.
The remodel is still not done.
I am at the PUBLIC LIBRARY, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE, I’VE BEEN REDUCED TO CHECKING MY E-MAIL AT THE PUBLIC FUCKING LIBRARY, PEOPLE …..
(in …. out …. in …. out…..)
It’s only a matter of time before the transmission in my van goes out, or our house burns down, or a swarm of mutant locuts bombs our house and picks the flesh off our bones.
Send help.
Or a large vat of liquor.
And if you’ve sent me a personal e-mail and I don’t respond quickly, I’m doing my best.
30 Responses to Send help
December 7th, 2009 saat: 11:50 AM
Maybe your laptop has a warranty. If the screen is intact, it may just need a few re installs.
December 7th, 2009 saat: 12:24 PM
I was a smidge worried since you hadn’t had a post since last Thurs… I can’t believe all of this bad luck. I am really sorry and sending you some GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, Good Vibrations….
December 7th, 2009 saat: 12:30 PM
It kinda sounds like maybe your hard drive was bumped loose. I am NOT a computer expert by any means, but my laptop falls off my chair A LOT (I’m the mom to three very active kids, 7.5, 5, and 18 months). That usually happens when the hard drive is knocked loose. My advice would be to take it out and put it back in. It just might work.
Sorry your week sucked!
December 7th, 2009 saat: 12:53 PM
I can trade you a zipper-neck and swelling…and a salivary gland that is not working? Well, on second thought, no, I’ll keep those -at least I have a laptop!
Sending prayers from CA!
lMnop Zipperneck Frankenstein
December 7th, 2009 saat: 12:57 PM
It appears as though you’re having one of “those” weeks. Or rather, one of “those” months? Years? The kind where nothing seems to go right. The kind where life just can’t seem to get any worse. And then it does! Hope things get better soon, and nothing worse happens. At least you are all healthy! God bless!
December 7th, 2009 saat: 2:03 PM
OMG I’m laughing so hard…I’m sitting in a hospital room with my daughter (for almost a month) and I’m so sorry all this stuff happened to you, but Kara and I were laughing so very, very hard at your post (I was reading it to her)! We needed a laugh right now :) ! I love your blog! Seriously though, hope everything gets cleared up!
December 7th, 2009 saat: 2:16 PM
Please- don’t dare ask “how much worse can it get?” You don’t want to find out…
December 7th, 2009 saat: 2:23 PM
Wish I could help! Keep breathing. JSC
December 7th, 2009 saat: 3:15 PM
I hate to even comment seeing as you won’t be able to read it! Hoping that all will come back to life and they will finish the remodel today!
December 7th, 2009 saat: 3:36 PM
I think you have taken a page from my life. I would say that things can only get better from here but from my experience, that isn’t always the way. Here’s hoping things get better.
Mel-Canada
December 7th, 2009 saat: 4:14 PM
CRAP! Here’s a hug, continue breathing……I have no other advice, just keep…..breathing…Hope your dark cloud above your house moves soon!!!
Sue
December 7th, 2009 saat: 5:17 PM
Oh God, am I sorry to hear you’re going through all this crap! I’m not good under stress, things like this would drive me over the edge! A couple weeks ago the ‘check engine’ light came on in both of our vehicles on the same day. One of them went out on it’s own without our doing anything. The other is still on. We also had a flat on one vehicle, and a very low tire on the other within a couple days of each other. Then we had a rainstorm that blew half our Christmas lights down off the house, and the rest somehow got water where they shouldn’t have and shorted out and threw the ground fault breaker. Nothing like the hell you’re going through, but I can sympathize!
December 7th, 2009 saat: 5:47 PM
Geez…that really sucks. I’ll bet your Christmas letter is hilarious! There’s nowhere to go but up, so your Christmas should be wonderful!!! Hang in there, and…just…breathe. :)
December 7th, 2009 saat: 8:52 PM
HOLY COW!!!! Not to be Negative Nancy or anything, but if you didn’t have bad luck, you wouldn’t have any luck at all!!! If I lived closer (I’m in Alabama) I would be on your front porch with a HUMUNGUS(sp) vat of your favorite liquor! I have connections to the Mafia if your contractors don’t show up tomorrow……just saying! :)
~Debbie~
December 7th, 2009 saat: 9:19 PM
Ok, I don’t think I’ve ever commented before but seriously girl, go have a big ass drink…and I mean BIG ASS!!!
How’s that for some “make you feel better, holiday advice”……?
December 7th, 2009 saat: 10:07 PM
Oh my goodness…how can that all really happen in such a short amount of time? If you keep this up, you will even make me feel better about my vet bills…unless that is that Tyson doesn’t start to look any better in the next few days…if he gets any worse, there is no catching us, so stop blowing things up and even trying!
December 7th, 2009 saat: 10:32 PM
Dang!!! Maybe you could sweet talk your mom or sister into letting you use their computer to edit those pictures. I feel your pain!! Hope things start looking up soon!
December 7th, 2009 saat: 11:16 PM
OMG, I thought the whole thing was bad enough until I got to the computerless Kristie part. Damn! My DH fixes ‘em for living. I will ask what the heck that means. Poor dear, you need more han Calgon!
Rita
December 8th, 2009 saat: 2:03 AM
I feel your pain! It has been “Murphy’s Law” around here for the past 2 or 3 weeks. I am hoping to catch a break soon or I may seriously have a fucking nervous breakdown…….hmmm on second thought I am well on my way!!!!!!
December 8th, 2009 saat: 6:21 AM
OMG!!! Truly sucks to be you right now…. I’m sooooo sorry! Even one of those things happening would suck, any combination of 2 would throw me into a raging tasmanian devil panic fit… 3….comatose! Hang in there!!!
December 8th, 2009 saat: 6:22 AM
Wow… you are tempting fate, with the weeks you have had lately.. to invite that swarm of locusts in!!
Hope things get better soon? Is that enough? I don’t know what to say!! Of all those things, living all in one room might be the most terrifying to me!!
Thinking about you and HOPING HOPING HOPING that your camera, computer and laptop get fixed and your remodel is finished TODAY.
December 8th, 2009 saat: 7:49 AM
Guess we know what you will be asking for from Santa for Christmas ;-)
December 8th, 2009 saat: 10:26 AM
I feel for you. November is always the month that something goes to crap in my household – is it because the holidays are coming up and money/time/patience is in short supply? In the past ten years, I have had the water heater die, the dishwasher die, the dog swallow a superball that cost almost $1,000 to remove, the heads (what the hell are they, anyway?) cracked in my car – meaning a new engine, the sump pump in the basement go out, etc. I DO have to say that nothing huge happened this past November, but that only makes me nervouse.
December 8th, 2009 saat: 10:27 AM
Maybe, just maybe, all this crap is happening so your Cancer Crap Sandwich will go away!
December 8th, 2009 saat: 10:43 AM
Oh No!
It has to get better.
Soon.
December 8th, 2009 saat: 11:40 AM
Wow, that is truly a hideous wee!!! And I thought I had it bad b/c my iPod will not synch songs with my iTunes ~ I upgraded to 9.0.2. So if you have an iPod Classic and are happy with your iTunes, DO NOT UPGRADE b/c you will then have one more thing to add to your list of crap. Oh I do hope you get it all fixed ~ and quickly. Maybe getting taken by aliens would have been the better thing…
December 8th, 2009 saat: 1:03 PM
Wish I could send you that large vat of liquor!
December 8th, 2009 saat: 1:26 PM
Breathe in, Breathe out, drink some Diet Dr Pepper and what ever you do DON’T ASK : “What else can go wrong?” because God has a sense of humor….and He’ll show you!!
December 8th, 2009 saat: 5:13 PM
To quote one of my favorite authors, who knew a little bit about locusts, “If it’s not chickens, it’s feathers!” Laura Ingalls Wilder. Hope things turn around soon!
December 8th, 2009 saat: 11:21 PM
WOW !!! That’s alot of broken crap!! Hope it gets better very soon!!
I hate to say that I am laughing also. You just have a way of telling your story!
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